愚人節(jié)整蠱笑話集錦(英文)
on the way home one night, i spotted some fresh-cut roses outside a florist's shop. after selecting a dozen and entering the shop, i was greeted by a young saleswoman。
一天晚上回家的路上，我看到一家花店外面有一些剛剪下來(lái)的玫瑰。我挑了一打，走進(jìn)店里，一個(gè)年輕的女售貨員跟我打了個(gè)招呼。
"are these for your wife, sir?" she asked。
“先生，這些是送給你妻子的嗎?”她問(wèn)道。
"yes," i said。
“是的，”我說(shuō)。
"for her birthday?" she asked。
“她的生日?”她問(wèn)。
"no," i replied。
“不是，”我回答。
"for your anniversary?"
“你們的結(jié)婚紀(jì)念日?”
"no," i said again。
“不是，”我又答道。
as i pocketed my change and headed toward the door, the young woman called out, "i hope she forgives you."
當(dāng)我將找回的錢裝進(jìn)口袋，朝門口走去時(shí)，那年輕的女人沖我喊道：“希望她能原諒你。”
after being with her all evening, the man couldn't take another minute with his blind date. earlier, he had secretly arranged to have a friend call him to the phone so he would have an excuse to leave.when he returned to the table, he lowered his eyes, put on a grim expression and said, "i have some bad news. my grandfather just died.""thank heavens," his date replied. "if yours hadn't, mine would have had to!"
和盲約對(duì)象呆了一晚上后，男人再也受不了了。他事先安排了個(gè)朋友給他打電話，這樣他就能借故先離開了。當(dāng)他回到桌邊，他垂下眼睛，裝出一副陰沉的表情，說(shuō)：“有個(gè)不幸的消息，我的祖父剛剛?cè)ナ懒恕?rdquo;“謝天謝地!”他的約會(huì)對(duì)象說(shuō)，“如果你的祖父不死，我的祖父就得死了!”
teacher of physical education: have you ever seen mixed doubles, boys?
nick: yes, sir. quite often. i saw it even last night。
teacher: please tell us something about it。
nick: oh, sorry, sir. my father always says, 'domestic shame should not be published.'
體育老師：孩子們，你們見過(guò)男女混合雙打嗎?
尼克：見過(guò)，老師，經(jīng)常見。就在昨天夜里我還見過(guò)呢?
老師：你給大家講講當(dāng)時(shí)的情形吧。
尼克：啊，對(duì)不起，老師。我爸爸常說(shuō)，家丑不可外揚(yáng)。
a guard was about to signal his train to start when he saw an attractive girl standing on the platform by an open door, talking to another pretty girl inside the carriage。
"come on, miss!" he shouted. "shut the door, please!"
"oh, i just want to kiss my sister goodbye," she called back。
"you just shut that door, please," called the guard, "and i'll see to the rest."